Silver or gold, friends are people we all need in our lives

Did you ever sing a little song when you were young that went like this:

“Make new friends, but keep the old,

“One is silver and the other gold.”

A few months ago I started humming this jingle, which led to a look at the lyrics.

“Make new friends.” Hmmm. That sounds a little like strong encouragement, just shy of a command.

During the last few months I’ve reassessed my relationships. Being sick provides time to ponder many things. I think I took the “strong, independent military wife” thing to extreme. I became a bit of an island.

Oh sure, I have friends all over the country. But I have two best friends — one in Washington, D.C., and one in Dallas — and I’m in California. My other friends, I realized, I’ve kept at the “outer marker,” to use an aeronautical term. They were never allowed to get closer.

Ladies, I don’t know maybe I was just tired of saying goodbye. Maybe I was lazy, and it certainly takes work to develop fulfilling friendships. Maybe I got used to being “alone.” I’ll let a shrink figure that part out.

The bottom line is: I didn’t make new close friends.

There are certainly different levels of friendship. You know there are those friendships that are “surface,” like the mother you sit with at the soccer games but that is about all you know about her. Then there are those you share a bit more of yourself and learn more about. Maybe it is a co-worker you see daily or a fellow fund-raising committee member.

But then there are those you will let into your inner circle. I know you know what I mean. These are the ones, the select few that get to see the real condition of your linen closet and the ring around your toilet bowl. They see you at your worst and you trust them to love you anyway. And you love themwarts and all!

I recently spoke to a group of military wives. We did a round table discussion on the subject of friendship. Does any of this sound familiar to you?

“I don’t have time to find that ‘girlfriend’ at every new duty station.”

“The challenge is moving. It’s hard to say goodbye, and frankly, I don’t want this cycle of looking for a local girlfriend only to say goodbye.”

Or, “With Facebook I can keep in contact with my friends so I don’t feel the need for local friendship as much.”

But friendship is a give and take. We might not think we need that local “sista” (although we do) but we are needed by others! There are new moms, new military spouses, first deployment sisters who need you. And in reaching out to them, you will find how much you need them.

In the next edition, I’m going to tell you about persistent Debra, the woman who wouldn’t let me keep her at the outer marker — and all that I learned.

In the meantime, make new friends. They are silver. Keep the old, they are gold — and at today’s precious metals prices, that is great wealth!

— Connect with Beth at beth@homefrontinfocus.com.

© 2012 Ventura County Star. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

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Commanding Officer

CAPT. LARRY VASQUEZ

Chief Staff Officer

CAPT. SCOTT LOESCHKE

Lighthouse Editor

ANDREA HOWRY, 805-989-5281

Public Affairs Officer

KIMBERLY GEARHART
Ventura County Star - 805-437-0000

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MARGIE COCHRANE, Ventura County Star

Niche Publications

JOHN GARCIA, 805-437-0365

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The Lighthouse publishes every other Thursday. All stories and photos must be submitted no later than the Thursday prior to publication. To submit a story or photo request, call the Lighthouse editor, Andrea Howry, at 989-5281 or send an e-mail to lighthouse@navy.mil.
THE LIGHTHOUSE IS PUBLISHED AT NO COST TO THE GOVERNMENT EVERY FRIDAY BY VENTURA COUNTY STAR, OF CAMARILLO, CA. VENTURA COUNTY STAR IS A PRIVATE FIRM IN NO WAY CONNECTED WITH THE DEPARTMENT OF DEFENSE OR THE UNITED STATES NAVY, UNDER WRITTEN CONTRACT WITH NAVAL BASE VENTURA COUNTY. THE LIGHTHOUSE IS THE ONLY AUTHORIZED CIVILIAN ENTERPRISE NEWSPAPER FOR MEMBERS OF THE U.S. NAVY, CIVILIAN EMPLOYEES, RETIREES AND THEIR FAMILY MEMBERS IN THE VENTURA COUNTY AREA. CONTENTS OF THE PAPER ARE NOT NECESSARILY THE OFFICIAL VIEWS OF, NOR ENDORSED BY, THE U.S. GOVERNMENT, AND THE DEPARTMENT OF DEFENSE, OR THE DEPARTMENT OF THE NAVY AND DO NOT IMPLY ENDORSEMENT THEREOF. THE APPEARANCE OF ADVERTISING IN THIS PUBLICATION INCLUDING INSERTS AND SUPPLEMENTS, DOES NOT CONSTITUTE ENDORSEMENT OF THE DEPARTMENT OF DEFENSE, THE U.S. NAVY OR VENTURA COUNTY STAR, OF THE PRODUCTS OR SERVICES ADVERTISED. EVERYTHING ADVERTISED IN THIS PUBLICATION SHALL BE MADE AVAILABLE FOR PURCHASE, USE OR PATRONAGE WITHOUT REGARD TO RACE, COLOR, RELIGION, SEX, NATIONAL ORIGIN, AGE, MARITAL STATUS, PHYSICAL HANDICAP, POLITICAL AFFILIATION, OR ANY OTHER NON-MERIT FACTOR OF THE PURCHASER, USE, OR PATRON. IF A VIOLATION OR REJECTION OF THIS EQUAL OPPORTUNITY POLICY BY AN ADVERTISER IS CONFIRMED, THE PUBLISHER SHALL REFUSE TO PRINT ADVERTISING FROM THAT SOURCE UNTIL THE VIOLATION IS CORRECTED. EDITORIAL CONTENT IS EDITED, PREPARED AND PROVIDED TO THE PUBLISHER BY THE LOCAL INSTALLATION PUBLIC AFFAIRS OFFICES UNDER THE AUSPICES OF THE NAVAL BASE VENTURA COUNTY PUBLIC AFFAIRS OFFICE.
NSWC Port Hueneme and representatives from eight allied, international navies joined forces on April 7 to establish a unified strategic plan for modernizing and sustaining the MK 41 Vertical Launching System (VLS) on a global scale, yielding enhanced worldwide fleet readiness and collective maritime strength against ever-evolving threats.
Thursday, April 10, 2014
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