Expert in transitions will put all her advice to practice

Transition: Movement, passage or change from one position, state, stage, subject, concept, etc., to another.

For 20 years, these have been the words I extolled to separating and retiring military service members going through transition seminars.

“Everything in life is a stumbling block or stepping stone,” I have told them. “Look at this as an opportunity to make your own choices, move where you want, when you want, do what you want, leave if you want.”

TAP class, XTAP class — always a positive vibe regarding transitioning out of the military to the civilian sector.

And now, me. My turn. My transition. My 34-year government career completed.

All the words of hope and optimism I championed for so many years are now flying back in my face. Over 400 TAP classes, over 12,000 service members — we’ve made many changes, transformations, transitions together. Will this sage advice to embrace one’s transition prove to be true for me as well?

Movement, passage, change from one position to another. The decision to retire is made with some initial angst, reminders of haunting words spoken to me by so many transitioners over many years: “This is all I’ve known for 20 years, I don’t know how to do anything else.”

I remind them that nothing is forever. Angst subsides, warm pleasure, subtle excitement seeps in. After all, I have gone through many jobs in my career, but this is the one I’ve loved and stayed with.

Change from one stage to another. What is it like to not feel guilty about not working? I have never known this feeling. Most of the transitioners I’ve worked with over the years have gone on to second careers. Not me. No one believes me when I say I’m actually retiring — and even I don’t know if it’s true. I have never done this before. Time now to tone and hone the body, mind and spirit. Reiki, Tai-Chi-Chih: honing knowledge, acquiring deeper wisdom in these universal healing- and joy-through-movement practices.

Movement from one concept to another. Without my military and my veterans, I would not know how to do this. Transition and change, progress and growth. I have taught transition and guided people going through it for 20 years. Now I get to live it. With less to go than I’ve gone, I need to remember all that I told my wonderful troops to make this new transition a provocative time of life.

To all my military transitioners: Your transitions have been our transitions, your changes our changes, your ups and downs, the good and the bad, have been our passages through times that were difficult and times that were joyful. We have cried, we have celebrated. We have strategized and plotted the next move. You have thanked me for my help, yet it is you who have been my raison d’être through all these years. You have always been my driving force. I do not know how I can ever thank you for what you have given me. Retirement is easy; it is leaving you that will be difficult and heart-wrenching. You are the best, and I love you all!

— Mary-Jean Owens is retiring as the Transitional Assistance Program coordinator for Naval Base Ventura County’s Fleet & Family Support Center.